1. Under-Ease pants: designed to hide the smell of farts
According to Under-Tec's president and inventor Buck Weimer, the Under-Ease is an underwear that provides "protection" against human gas. The weird product, designed by this American manufacturer, has a built-in multi-layered, replaceable filter made of felt, charcoal and fibreglass wool. To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs. They are supposed to be worn at anytime, anywhere in bed, at work and at social events, professional meetings and so on. The pants are machine washable and the filters can last for weeks, even months, depending on the frequency of use and laundering. The pants are available on the firm's website in a range of sizes and cost from £12 to £15. Why not user a diaper instead?
2. Beer Burglar Alarm: an alarm that goes on when someone drinks your beer
The next time you're drinking beer with your friends and step away for a second, don't forget to turn on the Beer Burglar Alarm: it will make that your not-so-truly friends don't finish your beer. Basically you attach the alarm system to a glass, and since it has a proximity sensor it will make the (sound) alarm go on if anyone tries to drink the beer. We have to admit that you won't be popular among your friends.
3. Cell-Mate: a low-tech wireless phone headset
If you want to add massive fail to your life, check out this truly idiotic product called Cell-Mate, which is a piece of metal and Velcro that actually clips your cell phone to your head. It isn't the poor-man's hands-free; it's the poor, poor dork's handsfree. Besides ugly, this accessory marks you as a person who truly doesn't care looking like a fool. Even better, these guys use a free GoDaddy page to host their Web site, including the embedded GoDaddy ads at the top of the page. Web page fail, product fail, lifestyle fail. The Cell-Mate page doesn't give any hint on how to buy this product, but trust me. You won't want to.
4. RemoteWrangler: a device intended to keep all your remotes close to your head
Always losing your remotes? Well, it'd be pretty hard to if they were all strapped to your face. That's the "idea" behind the Multimedia Remote Control Wrangler (aka Remote Wrangler). The velcro-like stretchable fabric fits around your chin and dome to create an ugly mask of productivity. The fabric is supposed to feel like a second skin, but it just looks plain uncomfortable. Like some weird strap for a torture device.
5. TwitterPeek: a device made exclusively to send, receive and search Twitter posts
Gadget maker Peek launched TwitterPeek, the world's first dedicated Twitter gadget. The Blackberry-like device retails for $100 (including six months' service) and, according to Peek, will appeal to Twitter lovers without smartphones. The device doesn't do SMS, doesn't even do email. So in a world where other Twitter-capable electronic gadgets are cheap and ubiquitous, why the hell would you buy one of these?
6. As-Seen-on-TV Hat: an iPhone-Viewing Visor
9. Car Stereo Remote: a remote for the 3-foot distance between your hands and you car stereo
The remote control for cars was intended to spare you the long three-foot reach to the front of your car. Why on earth would you need a palm-sized remote to flick through stations from the driver's seat – or any other seat, for that matter? You're better off poking the controls with a stick, which at least has the advantage of making you look as slovenly as you are.
6. As-Seen-on-TV Hat: an iPhone-Viewing Visor
The As-Seen-on-TV Hat comes in a variety of colors and patterns and in both baseball-cap-style and visor. Along the sides of the bill, there's a nylon guard to block out ambient light, and for your viewing pleasure, there's a magnifying glass hanging down midway along the bill. You insert your iPhone (or whatever other video-playing device you want) into a flap, where it sits at the end of the bill. Sounds kinda cool, right? Not. The problem starts with the fact that the instructions ask you to stuff your iPhone into a pocket at the end of a camouflage visor, but the iPhones don't even fit in the pocket. Besides, the plastic window fades and distorts your video, which severely impairs the cinematic experience the As-Seen-on-TV Hat tries so very hard to provide. The magnifying glass is adjustable (you can move it closer or farther from your scared, stressed little eyes) but not removable, so you're stuck with a distorted picture that was already blurry and faded from the plastic window covering your video-playing device.
The only good thing about this product it that at least you can't see all the people around you, pointing and laughing.
7. Nintendo Virtual Boy: a 3D monochromatic headache inducing video game system
This device was supposed to be the first portable game console capable of displaying "true 3D graphics" out of the box. But the truth was that Virtual Boy fans had to press their eyes into the machine's goggles to get the 3D effect, while simultaneously holding the unit steady and manipulating the unit's six-button control pad. The Virtual Boy chewed through AA batteries like a hungry virtual goat, displayed monochrome images only, and offered a paltry 22 games before getting pulled from the market a year later. It was the video game system that every kid wanted and every kid that owned never wanted to play. What would you expect from a device that had to be setup to automatically pause every half hour to spare users a cranium-splitting headache? The Virtual Boy actually made people ill. Nintendo advised users to take breaks every 15 to 30 minutes to avoid eyestrain, headaches, and nausea. Still those users probably didn't feel as bad as its creator, Gunpei Yokoi, who quietly left Nintendo shortly after his pet project was euthanized.
8. Lakeland: an electrical egg boiler
Ok, if you suck so much in the kitchen and you can't do something as simple as boiling an egg, this device is for you: the Lakeland Egg Boiler. For those who can't boil an egg, or for those that would prefer not to stand watching over a boiling pan, our dome-shaped boiler will cook up to 7 eggs to soft, medium or hard, so all you have to worry about is cutting some toast into soldiers. It also comes with a water measuring cup.
The only good thing about this product it that at least you can't see all the people around you, pointing and laughing.
7. Nintendo Virtual Boy: a 3D monochromatic headache inducing video game system
8. Lakeland: an electrical egg boiler
9. Car Stereo Remote: a remote for the 3-foot distance between your hands and you car stereo
The remote control for cars was intended to spare you the long three-foot reach to the front of your car. Why on earth would you need a palm-sized remote to flick through stations from the driver's seat – or any other seat, for that matter? You're better off poking the controls with a stick, which at least has the advantage of making you look as slovenly as you are.
10. The Potty Putter: a hemorrhoid inducing toilet golf putting game
Want to play golf while pooping? Now you can. The Potty Putter golf game allows the avid golfer to practice his putting while in the restroom. This gadget may help your golf game, but it is guaranteed to also cause you hemorrhoids. It even comes with a "Do Not Disturb Sign" for your practice sessions.
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6 comments:
First!
Re: "First!"
You, good sir, are a f-ing jackoff. That is all.
why is the potty putter on this list?
it's not dumb.
and the TwitterPeek is better? at least the car stereo remote is useful if your wanting to change stations or tracks while your outside your car...
what do you mean first??
The technology has made some great inventions but there are also some things which are really of no use. latest Dumbest Gadgets Ever Made made by new technology like potty putter, under ease pants and many more.
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